Also on the bill...

Alex, The Misguided & Das Damen

This picture–shot with a Kodak disc camera by childhood friend Jeff Maschi–was taken in Northampton, MA, December 7, 1986. Jeff and I were on a road trip in my late, lamented 1968 Chrysler New Yorker to see my friend Alex Totino's band Das Damen open for Dinosaur Jr. at Sheehan’s Cafe. I'd known Alex since the early ‘80s when the Nihilistics were constantly on bills with his former band The Misguided. When they ran out of steam, Alex (Guitar) and Lyle Hysen (Drums) of The Misguided formed Das Damen. Jeff and I decided to go see them. But discussing this photo with Jeff–in an attempt to nail down the exact year–schooled me once more in the vagaries of memory. Jeff begins:

"Do you remember much of that trip?"

"Yeah. Das Damen played at some club in Northampton. You drove up with me."

"Yes. But do you remember anything else?"

"We stayed overnight in a hotel, didn't we?"

"Yes, we definitely did. Anything else?"

"Wasn't there some kid who came along for the ride?"

"Yup. A skinny kid, friend of the band. Some real go-getter. I had the feeling he probably went into management or something. Like music management."

"Yeah. He was a teenager or some shit, right?"

"Yup."

"Do you know that the singer–Jim–married Bebe Buell?"

"WHAT?!"

"Uh huh. I interviewed her years ago, at SiriusXM. She couldn't believe I knew Jim from his Das Damen days..."

"I had no idea. Do you ever talk to him?"

"Jim? No. I don't think I've seen him since that night in Northampton."

"What about Alex?"

"Alex dropped out of sight. Not even Lyle knows what's up with Alex. Lyle's been in Hoboken for years. I used to cross paths with him..."

"Speaking of Alex, do you remember anything else about that night we went to see them?"

"Besides the hotel?"

"Besides the hotel. This was at the show."

"I remember we had to go down a set of stairs to the club..."

"Yes, but that's not what I mean. You don't remember what you did during the show?!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Chris, let's just say you got very, very drunk."

"I did?"

"And you started throwing shit at the band."

"Now you're making it up."

"No. You were throwing popcorn or nuts or something. They were on stage and we were at the bar. You were shit-faced and throwing stuff. Alex got really mad."

"Holy shit. I do not remember this AT ALL."

"Yeah. You and Alex got into a big fight about it."

"We did. How come I don't remember?"

Jeff wasn't making it up. When a witness to one's worst self surfaces, everything must reorient. All these years I had pleasant memories of that Northampton trip. Alex was my best friend. Jeff was my second-best friend. The drive up and back was fun. So was the overnight stay. But afterwards Alex and I barely spoke again. And then he ghosted me entirely, before ghosting was even a thing. Could it have had something to do with that night in Northampton?

How could it not?

But I had no idea why I'd gotten so drunk or chose to throw food at the band. I could only guess. Jealousy. I was out of the Nihilistics a year. Das Damen was on the rise and doing far better than The Misguided had ever done. Soon, Thurston Moore would release their first record on his label. They'd eventually end up on SST (and a few other labels) and even open for Nirvana on their 1991 Nevermind tour before disbanding. I'm sure that night in Northampton I was feeling sorry for myself knowing I wouldn't be on stage again any time soon, knowing Alex was being pulled away to head out on tour, to go record albums, shoot videos, etc. No longer would we pal around in Ridgewood on Onderdonk Avenue. Or head to the World's Fairgrounds in Flushing Meadows to explore all night. Or stay over at each other's places. He was ascendant. I was plummeting. So I threw food, like a squalling baby.

I wrap up the phone call with Jeff.

"I have more photos from that trip. God knows where. I haven't digitized them yet."

"I would love to see them someday."

"Me, I'm not so sure..."

Recently, Das Damen reformed and played a handful of shows in the area. I bought two tickets for their appearance in Catskill, NY. Then I reached out to Lyle on Facebook, asking if Alex would be part of the reunion (I had an ulterior motive: the only person I’d love to interview for NIHILISTIC more than Alex is Mike Nicolosi… and he’s dead. Alex saw everything and I’m sure he’d dredge up yet more memories, pleasant and un). Lyle was coy at first, then told me, no, Alex was not going to be at the shows. He wouldn’t elaborate, just suggested we talk soon. And we will.

Disloyalty overwhelmed me, so I wrangled a refund for the Catskill show.

Alex, if you’re out there… let me stick a microphone in front of you for ninety minutes.