PMA? All day!

Learning to be... ugh... positive.

Christmas is less than three weeks from today. Fuck. How did that happen? Wasn’t it just June and the cusp of our Jersey shore vacation? Life’s been a blur since but I promise to throttle back and bring you a 2024 Year In Review (hint: it was a gigantic shit-show) before January. Today, PMA is on my mind.

What is PMA? Positive Mental Attitude. I first encountered the concept in the early 1980s via the band Bad Brains, then the musician Jesse Malin, whose Beacon Theater benefit (he suffered a spinal stroke May 4, 2023, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down) I attended Sunday night. The concept of PMA dates to 1937 and is attributed to Napoleon Hill and his book Think and Grow Rich. According to Wikipedia, “The book never actually uses the term, but discusses the importance of positive thinking as a contributing factor of success.” Napoleon and W. Clement Stone later wrote the book Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, defining PMA as–again, according to Wikipedia, “...faith, integrity, hope, optimism, courage, initiative, generosity, tolerance, tact, kindliness and good common sense.” Holy shit, is that all? No. The Wikipedia entry continues: “Positive mental attitude is that philosophy which asserts that having an optimistic disposition in every situation in one's life attracts positive changes and increases achievement. Adherents employ a state of mind that continues to seek, find and execute ways to win, or find a desirable outcome, regardless of the circumstances. This concept is the opposite of negativity, defeatism and hopelessness. Optimism and hope are vital to the development of PMA. Empirical research suggests that individuals who engage in positive self-talk and maintain a mindful approach to their internal dialogues tend to exhibit greater self-control and resilience which is crucial for personal and professional growth, highlighting the significance of self-regulation and mindfulness in fostering a positive mental attitude.”

The above is written in a language I don’t comprehend. Maybe I was once a happy little boy but by 12 or 13 years of family turmoil, chaos and violence combined with casual stranger cruelty and multiplied by fat kid puberty equaled “Everything sucks and people are stupid.” Myself included. It’s no coincidence I ended up playing loud, fast angry songs in the Nihilistics. We thought PMA was what Mike Nicolosi dubbed “Happy horseshit.” How it fit in with the black & white photocopied world of hardcore music was beyond me, the whole idea as ludicrous as “Straight Edge.”

You mean to tell me not only should I NOT get fucked up, I should be HAPPY about it?!

If I left my 4th floor walk-up apartment never to return due to losing the use of my legs, I’d beg you to put me out of my misery. Jesse went through that exact scenario and somehow is able to rise above his circumstances. The love on display Sunday night was astounding. I first met Jesse when he was 13 and I wasn’t much older, 18 or 19. His band Heart Attack was often on the same bill as mine. Even then he radiated determination and live-wire energy, stomping around the stage, whipsawing his guitar and shouting into the mic. That first Heart Attack record, the God Is Dead 7-inch, is widely considered the first NYHC release. Jesse handed me a copy himself, probably in exchange for the Nihilistics EP. Like a moron, I sold God Is Dead ten years ago when I did a bit of vinyl purging, garnering over $1,000 for my barely played copy. In 2016 Jesse ended up on our SiriusXM Road Dog show Freewheelin’, plugging his EP Meet Me At The End Of The World. I jokingly apologized for selling God Is Dead, bringing along my copy of Heart Attack’s subsequent 12-inch, Keep Your Distance for us to pose with (above). Jesse was amazed at where I ended up and off the air I told him I was writing about those early NYHC days and the Nihilistics. He gave me his email address and I sent him a short story I’d written about the time Mike Nicolosi punched me in the face outside the Showplace in Dover, NJ. Jesse wrote back in a day or two to tell me how much he enjoyed it, how it captured that time exactly. He also invited me to his upcoming New Year’s party at one of his clubs (Niagara) and an everlasting regret is that I didn’t attend due to a horrific cold snap in New York City. I thought there’d be another chance but COVID-19 came along shortly and then Jesse had his spinal stroke.

Sunday night at the Beacon Jesse told us how he’s had a microphone stand in his home for five months, strictly so he could practice using it to pull himself out of his chair. Every time he did so, rising to his feet, so did the entire sold out audience, applauding wildly. It occurred to me: Jesse’s one of those rare figures, like the one he dedicated his song Aftermath to, Jeremy Tepper (RIP), who everyone knows and loves. I can only look on in awe, knowing what a “problematic” personality I possess. No one’s coming to me for inspiration or a pep talk any time soon. I’ve gotten much better since those long-ago days when Alex Totino of The Misguided and I formed our own “Black Cloud Brotherhood” (It’s like there’s a black cloud, following me around...) and, to me, the Nihilistics brand of negativity was a bulwark, engineered to make each other laugh. If you spent a few minutes with us you’d see beyond the menace and bluster to the pitch-black humor that kept us moving forward. We may have been negative but I’d never admit to defeatism or hopelessness. I had my own brand of determination and resilience, expressed in self-talk such as Fuck you if you don’t like me! and I can’t wait to move the fuck out of this house and away from your crazy people!

Your mileage may vary but it got me pretty far.

I like to think I’m more resilient, stoic, able to roll with the punches (I once considered tattooing those words on my arm in Latin, soon realizing I’m not interested in the queries Volvunt Cum Pugnis would generate) than I was so long ago. But I’ve just seen and lived through more, knowing The only way out is through proves an apt truism. PMA has always veered too close to toxic positivity for me to ever be truly comfortable with it, so I reserve the right to bitch and moan AS LONG AS IT’S ENTERTAINING. We’re all gonna be doing a whole lot of laughing-to-keep-from-crying these next few years but if the glowing reviews of Jesse’s triumphant return to performing are an indication, the human spirit remains indomitable and it’s still possible to rise above even the most dire scenarios.